he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
