im drinking this country out of the recession.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
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Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
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There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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