he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize