He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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