HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
