talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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