I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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