you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
