Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
