Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
