i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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