at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
