question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
