I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I will be naked everywhere
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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