I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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