Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
one two three fourrrrnication!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
