Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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