guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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