Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
