There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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