You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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