Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
