You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
