I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize