is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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