sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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