I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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