In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize