You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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