my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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