bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
