Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
