two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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