were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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