Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
