DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
