There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you would pick up someone in the library
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
