I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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