I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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