Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
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It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
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After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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