I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
