Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize