I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize