Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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