i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
