id be glad to
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
