I'm so fucking centered right now
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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