I seem to have left my pride at pride
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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