There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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