guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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