I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
