I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
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I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
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I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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