Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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