And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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