What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
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I'm at about main and main street
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
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