How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We left the knife in your bed.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
